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Going to the zoo

Tomorrow I am going to the zoo. I hate zoos. Always did. I always felt that by losing their freedom and their anonymity, these animals become freaks.  But I need to see elephants. They always made me keep my balance, recenter myself. I will go straight to them, and just absorb them. Elephants give me peace, and since I cannot jump into a plane to experience free and wild elephants,  I am going to the zoo. So, I guess, I am wrong, and zoos do have a reason to be. Do you know that in the wild some elephants now are born without tusks? How pathetic is it? To survive, Nature made them born crippled? Greed no more…. Ivory no more…. Tomorrow I will get my “elephants” fix.

March is always a hard month to live by. This year even more…. I always say that pups should come with a big sign “Will bring so much joy in your life, but one day will break up your heart.” I should also wear a sign “Warning: cool to have as a friend as long as you don’t mind painless sudden death.”  My three best friends all died the same way: in their sleep, their heart stopped beating. Age doesn’t matter: 34, 56, 37. Not picky. I have one girlfriend left and not sure yet what I should do with her. Should I dump her to save her? You know what, that’s a good question!

Yesterday, my brother told me that he messed up his life. But that’s because he just doesn’t get it. Life is not only about companionship. Life is like a diamond with so many facets. You can screw up one of two, there are plenty left!  Maybe flaws should be considered as beautiful as perfection.  My diamond is not perfect, so what? Are you going to sue me? Relationships are not perfect. I am done with the Lovey dovey ones. I swear you can stick a fork in me. I am done. The last straw was from Facebook….. An ex-boyfriend who dumped me some twelve years ago because he could not incorporate in my life like if I were some kind of mayonnaise (by the way, I make my own mayo with egg yolk, mustard and olive oil!), suddenly found me on Facebook, and two marriages later wanted to have an extra marital affair with me twelve years later? Suddenly he cannot live without me? Breaking news sweetie: I can live without you!

Jackson is sleeping on my feet as I type this trying to make me forget that I spent $ 46.00 on him yesterday when he got loose in a pet store for 1 minute and managed to steal cookies and swallow them at the speed of the light. He reminded me so much of my late Zeus who could swallow anything in a second if he ever thought that I was going to get it from him.  The only difference Jackson Darling was that Zeus was abused, Zeus was starved before he came into my life, when there was not one day in your life where you skipped a meal you since you were born, so yes, snuggle with my feet as much as you want, Mom is still pissed!

And by the way, the cats are on a diet! Yes, that’s darn right. My ex vet told me that they were not overweight, and just big cats. Maybe so, but when they start screaming bloody hell in the middle of the night because they cannot jump over the gate to go to their room, I thing that yes, Houston we have a problem.  The big food bowl is gone, and now they get ¾ of a cup each daily and they are not happy, like if I care????  I want the best for you Sweeties….. I want you to be able to bug the mutts forever, so losing weight is the goal!

I do have to acknowledge that my Jackson is pretty cute though…. A friend of mine, psychologist, always tried to convince me that the older we get, the tougher we get. So, I guess that I still must be the exception, because there are always exceptions, right? I have no clue how I will manage when the mutts start to drop dead on me when they get older. I cannot imagine Max, my baby, becoming white and old. I just can’t. I also know that this ride is an exceptional one that I will never experience it again, so yes, I am taking the time to enjoy it, and to go through it with as little regrets as possible.  George is still around though, I almost feel like “Donkeyskin”, the fairy tale. It almost seems like I am carrying George with me, and my steps are heavier because of him. He never went away. Is it him? Is it me? I don’t know, but tomorrow I am going to the zoo to see the elephants.


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