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Living with a Diva!


Since Zoe’s TPLO surgery, she blossomed into a Diva. She took over my office, since she is not supposed to jump onto anything, and Zoe being Zoe, she has always managed until now to be more in the air than on our good old planet. She perfected the art of jumping in the air, four legs up. Of course, sometimes, the landing is not the one she had expected, but she always looked more like a doe than a dog. Now that the reality hit her, and that she needs to be on the ground with no sofas around, she decided she could be more demanding on everything. She screams at my door, that I will need to repaint since she also perfected the art of scratching the wood with her nails, I come. What does Zoe want? It varies. Yes, sometimes, it’s the obvious and she needs to go out to do her business, but it could be a various range of reasons. What is going to be? Request # 6?  Tummy scratched? Yes indeed if I open the door and find her on her back, her four legs up, request # 6 is the one. Or is it Request # 9 which is “I want play sit and stay with those green beans I like!” Keep in mind that these requests can happen at any time of the day or night! Zoe is demanding! Am I creating a monster right now?

For over the first two years of their life, I lost my sleep, and never managed to get more than two or three hours in a row since the mutts wanted to go out to do their business at any time. My under eyes bags have their names written all over. My vet used to tell me “let them scream!” Yeah, right! So my options were: “stay awake and let them scream”, or “get up, put them out, and go back to sleep”. I chose # 2 anytime of the night because you see, if I let them scream long enough, then the screams/barking becomes howling, and they know it, once they howl I am there in a split second. Are they spoiled? Yes! Do I regret anything? Nope! Not a thing. Just a small token to pay in comparison of what they brought into my life: joy, love, happiness.

Anyway, last evening, Zoe was half asleep when I tried to make her go outside. It was raining, She just stopped at the door, looked at me like “Are you kidding? It’s wet!”, and decided to go right back to her bed in my office. Sure enough, at 2:30 am, Diva Zoe decided she needed to pee, but when you are a Diva you have to be picky where you pee. It has to be the right spot. So here I am with a flash light, being dragged all over the yard by Zoe until she finally managed to find the right spot. Just at that precise minute, all the mutts crossed the yard in front of me going after something, a shadow the size of a big raccoon that did not stop to say hello to me!

When we finally got up this morning, they ate their breakfast as usual, then while counting the supplements they have, fish oil, Cosequin for Zoe, Lola and Maia, and cranberry pills for Maia, I got the cream cheese out, and started the distribution of the caps. Where was Sophie? Sophie knows the pack order, and she was still on the couch playing with a wet toy and growling at anyone coming close. The wet toy was actually a dead squirrel. Screaming bloody hell, I took the squirrel out, and no, it won’t have a ceremony the way we were doing it when my daughters were little and we were giving eulogy to every single dead squirrel killed in front of our house. When I came back, what could I have expected from Jackson? He swallowed all the supplements, and went on his couch with the cream cheese.

I love those mutts to death, but I was so ready to murder someone this morning. I, then, called my vet to ask her if Sophie could have caught any disease, and she started to ask me if the squirrel was still warm? Are you kidding me? I knew she was right but still. It’s early in the morning, I did not even have my cup of tea yet, and you want me to touch that thing? Yes, yes, yes, the darn thing was still warm!

Sophie, I love you. I love our energy, your mischievous attitude, your beautiful intelligent eyes, your happy tails, I love all of you girl, but next time…. Can you just go after your stuffed toys instead the live ones, pleaaaase? I don’t want to have PETA knocking at my door!

Jack…. I have nothing to say to you. I am still offended by your vile actions this morning, and one day, just one day in your life, Jackson, give me a freaking break!

Your Mom, Dominique


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