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My cat needs his balls back!


Seriously! Paging Caramel’s balls…. He needs them back badly! Hey, the poor beast has been in rehab with Prozac locked in a room with me as the only living being coming to see him, feeding him, giving him his Prozac paste in his ears, scratching his chin, rubbing his tummy, and he is so ready to see the world now, or at least to rediscover the house.

Since he has been a good boy, and had peed in his box for now over 60 days, I tried to keep the door open with a gate preventing any mutt to go eat his food or his walnut crushed litter! I saw him, slowly going by the gate, and lying down in front of it, looking at the new horizon in front of him. Satisfied that it was a move in the good direction, I went back to my office to suddenly hear a minute later screeching, hissing noises in his room. Sure enough, Mean and Meaner, aka Charlie and Milou had invaded Caramel’s place! One was holding him on his back while the other was eating his food – which is by the way the same food that they have too! – I kicked their sorry butts out of the room, closed the door, and tried to coax Caramel to come out of under the bed.  His yellow eyes were showing so much distrust and disgust in me: “How could you do that? Allowing the two beasts in MY room, eating MY food without even spilling it all over like I do!”

Nothing did it, Caramel the Cat stayed under the bed, and is still there when I went to check on him this morning. I suspect that he sneaked out in the middle of the night to eat and drink, since food and water were splashed all over, but his last message was pretty eloquent: he peed in front of his always clean litter box. “Do you get me Lady? I am pissed! My space was invaded because of you!”, and here went two months of hard labor and TLC to make him as normal as possible.

Caramel is submissive, scared of his own shadow, and never stood up to Charlie and Milou, who, because of that, just took advantage of him. So, he needs his balls back, badly! I could imagine the faces of Milou and Charlie if, suddenly, Caramel stands up, and goes after them. He doesn’t know it, but I bet that my two monsters would be scared to death and would run away, but it won’t happen!  I don’t think I can really chemically induce the feeling of having the balls back, so what am I going to do now with my darn cat? After that episode, there is no way that Jessica can take him back and take the chance that he would consider her brand new second couch his cat litter again?

Since his balls are long gone, my only way now with him is going to be to alternate jail time between him, and the other two! They have their own room too….. That’s what happen when kids leave the nest! You have rooms for your cats. For the dogs, it would be useless since the only room they consider is the one where I am, and let me tell you my bathroom is quite crowded now in the morning when I take a shower. They get so upset when the door is closed, and since George is gone, I did not have the heart to close any door on them. It’s good that the weather is cool, because these days if I have to go to do some grocery shopping, I have 4 mutts in my truck. Lola, Maia and Sammie don’t enjoy the sardines feeling, but the mutts don’t mind. A weird thing happened as a matter of fact, mutts speaking, they used to sleep all over in my bedroom: some on the bed, and some in their own beds. That was before. Since George is gone, they recreated the way they used to sleep as puppies, on top of each other, or close to each other. Of course, they recreated the closeness thing on my bed, but they are so entwined into each other now when they sleep that I still have some space for my feet, and even for my whole body!

For Caramel, tonight, the house will be his while the two others will stay in their room, and maybe, just maybe, I will have three balls free happy cats in my house….. Maybe……


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2 Responses to “My cat needs his balls back!”

  1. Tony says:

    Funny how you said that you are sad from the passing of your dog, but at the same time you can laugh at your cat! Not even sure your dog died. It sounds so fake!
    Tell us the truth: is it just for entertainment? That would be my educated guess!

    • Dominique says:

      Are you my ex vet?
      My sense of humor still exists no matter what! I don’t even know why I am taking the time to reply to you.
      Life goes on even if every single morning, I have a knot in my stomach and a broken heart when I remember that George is gone, and yes the feeling follows me through the day.

Leave a Reply to Dominique