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The complicated life of Caramel the Cat




Three cats live in Muttstown, and the saying « cats and dogs » doesn’t apply in Muttstown ! They all get along…. But one! It is the complicated life of Caramel the Cat!

Nine years ago, an acquaintance tried to kill herself – she is still alive and crazy, thank you very much! – but at the same time tried to kill her cat, a six month old kitten by locking him in a closet with a bowl of Clorox. I found him there, totally dehydrated but smart enough not to have drank the Clorox. That day, I catnapped him, and amazingly she never asked where the cat was. After spending a few days under observation at my vet, Caramel the cat, came home. We named him Caramel for the obvious reason that he was the color of Caramel with the most beautiful green eyes. Caramel the cat had two loves in his life when he moved in with us: my daughter Jessica, and my other cat who would need a whole book dedicated to him: Tiger, the cat of my life.

I think that Caramel came from a family of feral cats, and some behaviors came with his baggage. He loved to pee outside the box. Because of him, I became a very neat person…. I couldn’t have any clothes on the floor, or he would just flavor it with his urine. No, it did not take me long to pick up anything lying on the floor. No more lazy nap for socks, soft purses, underwear…. It was like being on a boat where everything had its own place. I mean, yes, it should have been that way no matter what!

Caramel loved the house where we presently live. He loved the windows and you could see his whiskers tremble at the vision of a bird or a squirrel. Then, he had his buddy, Tiger, and his bedmate, Jessica. Life was good!

Tiger died on a Saturday afternoon of a heart attack on a June day. He had a bad heart, and was under medications. Tiger was also an outdoors cat and was crazy if not allowed to go outside. He was also the last cat I allow to go out! At one point, he disappeared I guess because of a neighbor who either fell in love with him, which was not difficult, or thought he was alone. Alone, he was not. It took me many posters where I was mentioning that he was under heart medications to get him back. But, I guess the lack of medications did a number on his heart and he died in his sleep a few days after his return.  Caramel lost his buddy, and I found him in the box where Tiger was resting until I could get him cremated the next Monday He had opened the box and was lying next to his buddy. If one more vet tells me that animals don’t mourn, I guess I might open my big mouth one more time and scream! He was so depressed that we thought a new buddy will help after a few weeks, and we rescued Charlie aka Fat Cat. There was no lost love between these two, and that’s when Caramel took back some of his feral habits. He went to hide, except when Jessica was around, and started peeing even more outside the box. So, Caramel the Cat got Prozac, the transdermal paste, that I had to rub everyday inside one of his ears. It worked! Dark closets and under bed hiding became long lost memories, and he started to enjoy life again.

Since I am not a big lover of medications (in my own cabinet, you will find only one thing: Advil! And I don’t even own Advil PM. That’s how little meds I have!), Caramel was off the Prozac and life was still good in Muttstown.

Two months ago, Jessica moved out and after settling down, what more normal than wanted her cat back? A new home for Caramel, and he seemed to enjoy it. He did not have to rush to eat food, scared that the two others could try to kick him out of the food place! He was alone, no bossy cats, no vile dogs around. Life was good: a whole apartment for him, and no one he had to share Jessica with at night! That was before Caramel decided that spraying Jessica’s couch would probably add a touch to the place. A week later, the couch was gone, and Caramel back home with me until we figured out what could be wrong with him. I do not believe like my crazy Georgetown girlfriend that cats pee somewhere else to piss off humans. I do not believe that they feel it’s something wrong to do. Sue him, he liked the darn couch, and most likely his feral memories hit him back again.

Since he came back to live with me, he is for the time being confined to Jessica’s ex bedroom where he has his own food, water and litter. The litter thing works according to the mood of the moment. Most of the time, he pees in it, but yesterday, what the heck, he decided to keep me wondering about him, by peeing both in the box, and outside the box!

Today, Caramel is at our vet, where he will have all the tests done to be sure he doesn’t have crystals in his urine or stones or anything. If everything is normal, then he will have to go to rehab. It’s too bad nobody ever told me about it. Rehab would have been ever better if done a few years earlier! My vet explained to me that he would have to be crated in a dog crate (we have those, right Jackson?), for probably two months with litter, food, Prozac and Pheromones plugged in! TLC is authorized, most likely with Jessica. Caramel hisses at me each time he has a chance to see me even through a window. I am the bad guy who took him from Jessica, and he won’t allow me to forget it. I got the message Buddy! But you are going to have to stick with me for a few more weeks, then rehab done, you will go back to the love of your life: Jessica.


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